"Lanval" summary

"Lanval" was a mid-12th century romance poem by Marie de France about one of Arthur's knights. I decided, for educational purposes, to compose a concise summary of what it is about:

Knights: "Boo! We all hate you Lanval!
Lanval: "Why?"
Knights: "Because you're so perfect!"
Lanval (sobbing) "Wah! No one likes me!"
Faerie Queen: "Hay Lanval, you are totally hot, you can totally make out with me and I'll give you free stuff if you promise not to tell anyone, sound good?"
Lanval: "Uh, heck yeah!"
[Make out session]
Lanval: "Hey knights, I am rich now, for uh reasons, you guys want stuff?"
Knights: "Oh heck yeah Lanval, you're like, our favorite person...ever."
Guinevere: "Hey Lanval, we should totally make out."
Lanval: "What? no! you're married to Arthur"
Guinevere: (accusingly): "Ugh! do you not want to because you're gay?"
Lanval: (defiant) "No, its cause I have a sugar momma whose way hotter than you, in fact her servants are hotter than you!"
Guinevere: "Arthur, Lanval totally just hit on me!
Arthur: (enraged)"What the heck Lanval?"
Lanval: "What, no, I only said that my girlfriend was hotter than her, darn it! I mentioned her! I am forsaken!" (goes into intense depression)
Arthur: "Knights, give Lanval a trial!"
Knights: "Darn it, if we kill Lanval, we won't get anymore free stuff, but if we don't Arthur will kill us, we need proof of what he says!"
Faerie Queen (showing up): "Sup, you guys good with releasing Lanval?"
Knights: "Well, she is hotter than Guinevere, so I guess Lanval is innocent".
[Lanval and Faerie Queen ride off together].
The End
The moral of the story is that if you make out with hot people and get lots of stuff, you will be successful in life.
-Captain Joshua